Getting what you want while loving what you have

GETTING WHAT YOU WANT WHILE LOVING WHAT YOU HAVE

 

Some encourage us to enjoy the moment and appreciate what we have, suggesting that constantly striving for more is unhealthy and the primary source of our discontent. And others say that, as human beings, we were built to push beyond our comfort zones each day and reach for something higher – to become great. I’ve struggled a lot with this, as I articulate a personal philosophy that I will live my life under. I’ve realized – it’s a balance. I call it The Mandela Balance.

 

Nelson Mandela, a man I greatly admire, once said: “After climbing a great hill, one finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk has not yet ended.”

 

To me, Nelson Mandela is suggesting that is truly is all about a balance. Enjoy the view from where you are at. Savor how far you have come. Be grateful for where you are along the journey that is your life. Live in the moment. But also remember that with the gifts that reside within you come great responsibilities. I believe that every human being has a “duty to shine”. We must not rest on our past wins and become complacent. We must walk out into the world – each day- and do our best to be greater service to others, realize more of our potential and become better citizens on the planet. We must constantly play a bigger game and use our creative talents to do, be and see more. This drive to realize more of our greatest selves has, I believe, been knitted into our DNA and to deny it is to deny our human nature.

 

And yes, we set higher dreams and raise our personal standards, we will create some discontent. But this world was built by people who felt some discontent with the way things were and knew they could do better. “Show me a completely contented person and I’ll show you a failure” observed Thomas Edison. Politically incorrect these days, I know. But I think he was speaking truth. The greatest among us were not satisfied with the way things were. Think Gandhi. Think Mother Teresa. Think Bill Gates. Think Einstein. Think Mandela.

 

So love what you have. And then go for what you want. Enjoy the climb up the mountain. But never take your eyes off the summit.

 

“This world was built by people who felt some discontent with the way things were and they knew they could do better”

 

LOVE YOUR IRRITATIONS

LOVE YOUR IRRITATIONS

 

The things that drive you crazy are actually giant opportunities. The people who press your buttons are actually your greatest teachers. The issues that make you angry are actually your greatest gifts. Be grateful for them. Love them.

 

The people or circumstances that take you out of your power have extraordinary value. They reveal your limiting beliefs, fears and false assumptions. The celebrated psychologist Carl Jung once said: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” How much would you pay someone who promised that they could pinpoint exactly what is holding you back from your greatest life? How much would it be worth to get intimate information and intelligence on why you are not exactly at the place where you’ve always dreamed of being? The things that irritate, annoy and anger you are entry points into your evolution and elevation as a human being. They are sign posts for what you need to work on and the fears you need to face. They are gifts of growth. You can blame the people who trigger you and make it all about them. Or you can do the wise thing and look deeply into yourself to discover the reasons for your negative reaction. Use the challenges to grow self-awareness. Because how can you overcome a fear you are not even aware of? And how can you transcend an insecurity you don’t even know you have?

 

As you begin to shed light on your personal weaknesses and take responsibility for them, you actually begin the very process shedding them. Shadows exposed to the light begin to disappear. You become stronger. More powerful. More of who you were meant to be. You begin to see the world through a different set of eyes. People really can evolve into their greatness.

 

Kahlil Gibran, once wrote: “I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am grateful to those teachers.” So the next time a co-worker sets you off or your teenager gets you going, think about them as teachers. Thank them for the gift they just gave you. Because, in truth, they really did.

 

“The people or circumstances that take you out of your power have extraordinary value; they reveal your limiting beliefs, fears and false assumptions”

 

DO YOUR PART

DO YOUR PART

 

“What are you doing to help build a new and better world?” Don’t blame the politicians. Don’t blame those around you. Don’t blame your parents or your back ground. Doing so is playing the victim and this world has far too many people playing the victim whey they could be sharing their brilliance and making a profound difference. Mother Teresa said it so much better than I ever could: “If each of us would only sweep our own doorstep, the whole world would be clean.”

 

Blaming others is excusing yourself. Telling yourself that you – as an army of one – cannot have an impact is giving away your power. After a hurricane a while ago, a couple of college kids got their hands on empty school busses and drove them into the ravaged area when everybody else said the city was impenetrable. A little man in a loincloth name Mahatma Gandhi freed an entire nation. A woman name Rosa Parkers sparked civil rights movement because she refused to sit at the back of a bus. Ordinary people really can do extraordinary things. I love what Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop, once said: “If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”

 

Live by what I call the Jennifer Aniston Rule. In an issue of Vanity Fair, Aniston said that she gives herself one day to play victim after experience a challenging event. After that day of feeling powerless and sorry for herself, she wakes up and takes ownership for the way her life looks. She takes personal responsibility for her part in the problem – even if that only amounted to 1%. That’s personal leadership in action. It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you come from. “The ability to triumph begins with you. Always” offered Oprah Winfrey.

 

What you don’t like about life or the organization you work for or the country you live in? Make a list. Write it down. Shout it out. And then do something to improve things. Anything. Start small or go big. Just do something. As you exercise your power to choose, guest what? Your power grows. And as you work within your sphere of influence to make things better, guess what? Your sphere of influence expands. So do your part. Today. Now.

 

 

“The ability to triumph begins with you. Always”

 

EXTREME LEADERSHIP & KIDS CLOTHING

EXTERME LEADERSHIP AND KIDS’ CLOTHING

 

I just had a visit with the tailor who adjusts my kids’ school clothes this morning before I wrote this. I’ve known him for a long time and he’s always treated us well. He’s been in business for 40 years, so I thought I’d get behind his eyeballs and discover what has made his business both as successful and sustainable as it’s been. I started asking questions.

 

“Robin, there are four simple principles that we’ve followed here in our shop. They’ve served me well my whole life. I actually learned them by watching my mother as I grew up. She was one the most amazing people I’ve ever known”, he said.

 

I thought I’d share Neil’s four principles with you:

 

IMPROVE: Always be getting and doing better. Never settle for mediocrity.

 

OBSERVE: Talk to the people you work with. Really listen to them. And keep your eyes on the business. Because you can expect only that which you inspect.

 

CONNECT: Be really good to people. Treat your customers/team members with respect. Give them good value. Be caring and deal with any complaints fast.

 

ADAPT: Conditions change. Competition grows. Uncertainty is the new normal. Stay fast. Stay flexible. Stay nimble.

 

 

“Improve, Observe, Connect & Adapt”

 

FIND PERFECT MOMENTS

FIND PERFECT MOMENTS

 

I had a Perfect Moment today. It wasn’t a standing ovation in front of a thousand people. It wasn’t a phone call from a publisher sharing some good news. It wasn’t a Fortune 500 company calling to book a leadership presentation or coaching engagement for their team. No, it was far more important thing that occurred in my life on this morning. And it was incredibly basic (as are the best things in life)

 

As I got out of my car in the parking lot of our office, I noticed an amazing fragrance in the air. It was pure beauty. So sweet and breathtaking. I looked around and saw that I’d parked under a tree overflowing with red and pink blossoms. Spring had sprung, and the tree was spreading its magic. I just stood there. Closed my eyes, entranced by the smell. And the moment. I felt grateful to be alive. Sure, I have challenges I’m dealing with (the only ones who don’t are dead). Sure, life could always be better. But happiness is all about gaining a sense of proportion and perspective. And we all have many blessings in our lives, like people who love us or work that gives our days meaning or healthy kids or simple gifts like food on the table and two eyes to see through. Like the Perfect Moment in the parking lot.

 

Life is so very short. Yes, it’s important to focus on excellence in our careers and arriving at splendid success, however we define it. I totally agree with that. But equally important is enjoying the ride. Laughing. Having fun. Experience adventure. And not missing out on Perfect Moments. Mostly, they are free. And they are right in front of us. Today. If only we make time to look for them.

 

 

“Sure, life could always be better. But happiness is all about gaining a sense of proportion and perspective”