ASK TO GET

ASK TO GET

 

You’ll never know if you don’t even try. There is enormous power in asking for what you want. All too often, our internal chatter prevents us from taking the steps needed to get us to our own unique form of greatness. We are kept small from our inner imaginings – so many of which are lies.

 

The most brilliant of the best, those who live glorious lives that matter, ask like crazy. They understand that it’s a habit that must be polished for it to shine. And the more you do it, the easier it gets ( like any skill). So they ask. For the support and help they need they need for their business. For a better table at their favorite restaurant. For a better seat at a sold-out concert. And because they ask more, they get more (success always has been a numbers game).

 

Nothing happens until you ask. People are not mind readers. They need to know what’s meaningful to you. And if you ask nicely, they just might say yes.

 

“The most brilliant of the best, those who live glorious lives that matter, ask like crazy”

 

CHERISH CONFLICT

CHERISH CONFLICT

 

Everybody runs from conflict. It makes us feel bad, so we avoid it. Hope it will somehow resolve itself. It never does. Instead it just festers like a bad wound (what we resist really does persist).

 

Conflict is nothing more than an opportunity for greater growth and a deeper personal connection. Every conflict carries within it a chance for us to learn a powerful lesson and to grow as a human being (in our understanding and awareness/perspective). And every conflict, whether with a loved one or a customer, is a gorgeous opportunity to forge an even closer bond with them. By turning their dissatisfaction into a wow for both of you.

 

So don’t run from conflict. Don’t send the email when you know you need to speak some truth face to face. Leadership is about balancing compassion with courage. And though it can feel so messy, in truth it’s a gift. Embrace it. Relish the potential it carries. Celebrate it. It can serve us so well.

 

“Conflict is nothing more than an opportunity for greater growth and a deeper connection”

 

DONT WAIT FOR CHANGE

DON’T WAIT FOR CHANGE

 

You know I am very ordinary. I have my strengths and my flaws. One of my weakness is impatience. I just have this aching need to get great things done. Can’t stand slow change. Need to make my impact, and to spend my talents. Now.

 

Like some weaknesses, it’s also a great source of success. I move things forward fast. Just love speed. Only results matter (I’, generalizing, a bit). Makes me think of what Clint Eastwood said in a recent issue of Best Life: “ Sometimes if you want to see a change for better, you have to take things into your own hands”. Exactly. Sure, work with your team. Yes, collaborate. Of course delegate to other who have strengths where you don’t. But sometimes, when everyone is waiting for someone else to take the first step, you need to be the one to drive the change. To me, that’s courage in action. To me, that’s using your life well. To me, that’s leadership – and standing for being extraordinary.

 

“Sometimes, when everyone else is waiting for someone else to take the first step, you need to be the one to drive the change”

 

Fail Faster

FAIL FASTER

 

I’m not the first to use the term “fail faster”. But I do love it. The CEO of Coca-Cola at the annual meeting informed shareholders that the company was now going on an innovation tear and that his organization’s reinvention plan was contained in a document entitled “The Manifesto for Growth”. He noted that spending on marketing and innovation would increase by US$400 million and then – here’s the big line – observed, “You will see some failures. As we take more risks, this is something we must accept as part of the regeneration process.” Which brings me to the imperative of the Failing Fast.

 

At a leadership presentation I gave a while ago to the sales team of a large pharmaceutical company, someone came up to me afterwards and said, “ Robin, I loved your speech. Especially the idea about failure being the price of greatness.” That reminded me that too many of us are so afraid of failure that we don’t even try (Seneca once said, “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that things are difficult”) Many of us are frightened of looking silly or being embarrassed by failure and as a result, we don’t take the risk and seize an opportunity. We think failure is bad. It isn’t. It’s good. No, it’s great.

 

There can be no success without failure. It’s just part of the process. The company and people who have reached the heights of success are the ones that have failed the most often. You need to fail to win. And the faster you fail, the more quickly you’ll learn precisely what you need to do to win. So fail fast. Out-fail the competition. Out-fail the person you once were. I’ll leave you with a quote from Robert F Kennedy: “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”

 

“There can be no success without failure. It’s just part of the process…You need to fail to win”

 

Do New Things

DO NEW THINGS

 

Human beings crave control – that’s just the way we are. It’s a survival mechanism that goes right back to the days when we lived in caves. We need certainty, and anything less makes us uncomfortable. But leadership is all about getting good at being uncomfortable. It’s about running towards, not away from, the things that intimidate and frighten you. And leadership is about trying new things.

 

It’s so easy to eat the same food each day. But if you don’t try new foods, you just might miss out the opportunity to discover your new favorite meal. It’s easy to associate with the same people and have the same conversations each day. But if you don’t expand your community, you just might miss out on meeting your new best friend. It’s so easy to do the same things at work each day – to get struck in a rut. And if you don’t stretch, you’ll miss an achievement that could flood you with a sense of confidence and fulfillment that will be the state of a whole new world of work.

 

So I invite you to use each day as a platform for filling your life with more adventure, passion and energy by injecting into more new things. Listen to Boozoo Bajou if you usually listen to Bach. Eat Malaysian food if you usually do meat and potatoes. Read Dwell magazine if you subscribe to Fortune. It’s a big, interesting world out there. And it’s yours for taking

 

“Leadership is about trying new things”

 

Leadership & Kids clothing

Leadership & Kids clothing

 

I just had a visit with the tailor who adjusts my kids’ school clothes this morning before I wrote this chapter. I’ve known him for a long time and he’s always treated us well. He’s been in business for 40 yrs, so I thought I’d get behind his eyeballs and discover what has made his business both as successful and as sustainable as it’s been. I started asking my questions

 

“Robin, there are simple principles that we’ve followed here. They’ve served me well my whole life. I actually learned them by watching my mother as I grew up. She was one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known” he said.

 

Four leadership principles from a wise tailor:

 

·        Improve: Always be getting and doing better. Never settle for mediocrity

·        Observe: Talk to the people you work with. Really listen to them. And keep your eyes on the business. Because you can expect only that which you inspect.

·        Connect: Be really good to people. Treat your customers with respect. Give them good value. Be caring and deal with any complaints fast.

·        Adapt: Conditions change. Competition grows. Uncertainty is the new normal. Stay fast. Stay flexible. Stay nimble.

 

See through the eyes of understanding

See Through the Eyes of Understanding

 

The sad fact is that so many people look for the worst in others. They see them through the eyes of their own anger, fear and limitation. If someone shows up late for a meeting, they impute a negative intent to that person, saying, “they are so rude”. If someone makes a mistake, they grumble. If someone miscommunicates a point, they silently say, “she’s a liar”. Real leaders are different. They look for the best in people. Jack Welch, the former CEO of GE, said it so well: “the most important job you have is growing your people, giving them a chance to reach their dreams”.

 

I want to be clear. I’m not suggesting that leaders avoid reality. Not at all. They make the hard calls when they need to. I’ve mentioned in an earlier chapter that the best don’t worry about being liked – they just do what their conscience tells them is right. What I’m really saying is that the best leaders see through the eyes of understanding. If someone is late, they try to get to the truth. May be there’s a time management problem to coach around or a sick child to help. An error on an expense account could be the result of a poor process in place or the employee’s disorganization. The miscommunication might be all about the person communicating having weak skills in this area – an opportunity to improvement.

 

Today, rather than looking for the worst in people, I encourage you to look for what’s best within them. Sure some people really are inconsiderate or dishonest or uncaring. But in my experience – and I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years – most people are good. Few human beings wake up in the morning and ask themselves “what can I do today to mess up someone else’s day or undermine my credibility or ruin our businesses?” Most of the mistakes people make are the result of a lack of awareness. Most people just don’t know better – so stop taking it so personally. And here’s the payoff for you: As you seek out the good in people, not only will they want to show up more fully for you, but you will see more good in your world

 

“Few human beings wake up in the morning and ask themselves: “what can I do today to mess up someone else’s day or undermine my credibility?”