The Paradox of Praise

I was driving Colby to school and got an idea I want to share with you. We were talking about Everybody Loves Raymond, the television show my kinds adore. In particular, we discussed the tension between Raymond’s (cranky) mother, Marie and Ray’s (loving) wife, Deborah. Colby said they don’t like each other because Marie doesn’t like Deborah’s cooking. I asked him to go deeper and to figure out the real issue. After we discussed it for a while, we both heard the coin drop: We got that the reason for Marie doesn’t like Deborah is that she feels threatened by the love between Deborah and her son Raymond. She’s insecure. Things she might lose him. So she’s hard on Deborah and has no praise for her. Ever.

Made me think about praise within the workplace (and within the home). A rare commodity. Praise, to me, is like the sun: “The more you give away, the more everything around you grows toward you. However, most people don’t give praise freely (even though it’s free), According to Gallup organization survey, the number one reason employees leave an organization is that they don’t feel appreciated by their supervisor. Yet, most managers give away neither praise nor appreciation. Because they think it makes them look inferior.

Here is the truth as far as I can tell. Giving praise to all those around you, when they most deserve it, makes you look like more. It elevates you. It makes you look like a hero. It makes you look like a giant within the work place. To everyone around you. So don’t withhold what your team mates most crave. We all want to feel special. I do. You do. And so does Deborah.

“Giving praise to all those around you, when they most deserve it, makes you look like more. It elevates you. It makes you look like a hero”

(these are not my thoughts J and are copied from Robin’s book)