Grace under pressure

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

 

Dr Martin Lunther King Jr. once said in a speech: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” So true. What we are as human beings presents itself more fully in times of adversity than at times of ease. Any one can be positive, polite and kind when things are going well. What distinguishes people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they respond when life sends one of its inevitable curves. They don’t crumble or surrender. They reach deeply into themselves and present even more of their highest nature to the world.

 

Just a couple of hours ago, I was on the runway, ready to fly from London. The flight had been delayed by a few hours so it felt good to be so close to takeoff. I had my MP3 in place, a new book to read and my journal. Then, the Pilot’s voice came over the public address system: “ the ground crew found a technical problem and we regret to inform that we must cancel this flight”. The reactions that statement provoked were fascinating.

 

One man close to me became belligerent to a flight attendant. A couple in another row grumbled loudly. A business man in a dark suit liked the seat in front of him. Yet some passengers responded differently, with a quiet humanity. An elderly gentleman smiled as he helped others take their bags down from the overhead compartments. A teenager, rather than trying to rush off the plane like most of the other passengers, stopped to help a woman with a disability. The lady sitting next to me laughed and said, “hey, it’s not the end of the world,” before calling her kids and sharing her adventure. The wisent among us have a remarkable ability to maintain grounded when times get tough.

 

No life is perfect; mine certainly isn’t. We all must face challenges, both large and small. This very minute, there are human beings dealing with illness in a hospital bed. Sickness, loss disappointment. No one gets through life without experiencing this stuff. But you & I have the power to choose to rise above our external circumstances. We always have a choice to be strong and positive when things fall apart. We have the right to use our stumbling blocks as stepping stones to our greatest life.

 

Grace under pressure. That’s what separates leaders from followers. It’s that beautiful quality that inspires others and reflects a well-developed spirit.

 

“What distinguish people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they respond when life sends one of its inevitable curves”

 

Leadership isn't a popularity contest

LEADERSHIP ISN’T A POPULARITY CONTEST

 

Being a leader (and in my mind, every single one of us has an obligation to show leadership daily – regardless of title or position) isn’t about being liked. It’s about doing what’s right. So many leaders are afraid of conflict – they have a deep-seated need to be popular and cherished. They hate ruffling feathers and making waves. They are insecure and not so comfortable living in their own skin. But great leaders are different. They fearlessly make tough calls. They speak their truth. They run their own race, making the right decisions and worrying little about public opinion. They are courage in action.

 

I speak and write a lot about being caring and respectful of people. Treat your people well and they’ll treat your customers well. That’s a no-brainer. Help people get to their goals and they’ll happily help you get to yours. I will take that value to my grave. See the best in people and be the most compassionate person you know. But being kind doesn’t mean being weak. Being a good human doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be strong and courageous when required by the circumstances. Extraordinary leadership is a balance between being tender yet tough, compassionate yet courageous, part saint and part warrior, friendly yet firm.

 

All that best leaders really care about is being fair, doing what’s right and getting results. And that brings me to my gentle suggestion to you: Do the right thing rather than doing the popular thing. The best thing to do is generally the hardest thing to do. Please remember that. Make the tough decisions. Speak with candor. Let underperformers know when they are underperforming. Tell your superstars how much you love them. Just be real.

 

When you lead from a position of truth, justice, fairness and excellence, you’ll have your critics. Who cares? I’ve never seen a critic show up at a deathbed. My friend Dan Sheehand, who runs a great called WinPlus out of Los Angeles that we’ve done leadership development work with, once shared this with me: “Great people build monuments from the stones that critics throw at them,” Nice point. If I had listened to all my critics, I’d still be an unhappy lawyer locked to a desk. Thank God I didn’t.

 

“Being a leader isn’t about being liked. It’s about doing what’s right”

 

Learn to say No

LEARN TO SAY NO

 

Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important. “Yes men” and “yes women” never create anything great. There’s huge value in getting good at saying no.

 

Say no to the friend who wants to meet over coffee to gossip. Say no to the co-worker who wants to spread his negativity and cynicism. Say no to the relative who laughs at your dreams and makes you doubt yourself. Say no to the social obligations that drain time from your life’s work.

 

You can’t be all things to all people. The best among us get that. Know your priorities. Know your goals. Know what needs to get done over the coming weeks, months and years for you to feel that you played your best game as a human being. And then say no to everyone else. Sure some people around you might not be happy. But would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams?

 

“Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important”