Leadership & Kids clothing

Leadership & Kids clothing

 

I just had a visit with the tailor who adjusts my kids’ school clothes this morning before I wrote this chapter. I’ve known him for a long time and he’s always treated us well. He’s been in business for 40 yrs, so I thought I’d get behind his eyeballs and discover what has made his business both as successful and as sustainable as it’s been. I started asking my questions

 

“Robin, there are simple principles that we’ve followed here. They’ve served me well my whole life. I actually learned them by watching my mother as I grew up. She was one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known” he said.

 

Four leadership principles from a wise tailor:

 

·        Improve: Always be getting and doing better. Never settle for mediocrity

·        Observe: Talk to the people you work with. Really listen to them. And keep your eyes on the business. Because you can expect only that which you inspect.

·        Connect: Be really good to people. Treat your customers with respect. Give them good value. Be caring and deal with any complaints fast.

·        Adapt: Conditions change. Competition grows. Uncertainty is the new normal. Stay fast. Stay flexible. Stay nimble.

 

See through the eyes of understanding

See Through the Eyes of Understanding

 

The sad fact is that so many people look for the worst in others. They see them through the eyes of their own anger, fear and limitation. If someone shows up late for a meeting, they impute a negative intent to that person, saying, “they are so rude”. If someone makes a mistake, they grumble. If someone miscommunicates a point, they silently say, “she’s a liar”. Real leaders are different. They look for the best in people. Jack Welch, the former CEO of GE, said it so well: “the most important job you have is growing your people, giving them a chance to reach their dreams”.

 

I want to be clear. I’m not suggesting that leaders avoid reality. Not at all. They make the hard calls when they need to. I’ve mentioned in an earlier chapter that the best don’t worry about being liked – they just do what their conscience tells them is right. What I’m really saying is that the best leaders see through the eyes of understanding. If someone is late, they try to get to the truth. May be there’s a time management problem to coach around or a sick child to help. An error on an expense account could be the result of a poor process in place or the employee’s disorganization. The miscommunication might be all about the person communicating having weak skills in this area – an opportunity to improvement.

 

Today, rather than looking for the worst in people, I encourage you to look for what’s best within them. Sure some people really are inconsiderate or dishonest or uncaring. But in my experience – and I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years – most people are good. Few human beings wake up in the morning and ask themselves “what can I do today to mess up someone else’s day or undermine my credibility or ruin our businesses?” Most of the mistakes people make are the result of a lack of awareness. Most people just don’t know better – so stop taking it so personally. And here’s the payoff for you: As you seek out the good in people, not only will they want to show up more fully for you, but you will see more good in your world

 

“Few human beings wake up in the morning and ask themselves: “what can I do today to mess up someone else’s day or undermine my credibility?”

 

Beauty of time

The Beauty of Time

 

Time is a beautiful commodity. It is part of the hardware of life. What you do with it shapes, in so many ways, what your life looks life. And yet, while almost every one of us wishes more time while, we misuse the time we have.

 

I’m no guru, you know that. But I’ve become pretty good at using my time well. Time wasted is time lost and the big idea on time is that once it’s lost it can never be regained. I recently read that John Templeton, the celebrated financier, never went anywhere without a book in his briefcase. This way, if he found himself in a long line, he could use the downtime to ready, learn and grow. I also read that Madonna hates wasting time. She used to bring a book with her when she’d go out to a nightclub to use the time when she wasn’t dancing efficiently. My coaching clients are like that. And they lead big lives as a result of that giant devotion to time management.

 

I’m in no way suggesting that every minute of your days, weeks and months need to be scheduled. Be spontaneous. Be playful. Be free. I’m a free spirit at heart. I just find that people who have the most time for fun are those who know how to plan and then use their time well. In my experience, the people who feel stress the most and lead their lives like a five-alarm fire are those who leave life to chance and make not time to set schedules, articulate goals and follow well-thought-out plans. “Anxiety is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation and action,” observed thinker David Kekich.

“Time once’s lost never be regained”

 

Word Hard, get lucky

WORK HARD, GET LUCKY

 

That old line remains so true: “the harder I work, the luckier I get,” Life helps those who help themselves. Learned that one from personal experience. I’m not one of those who believes that “it’s all meant to be” and that our lives have been scripted by an invisible set of hands. Sure I believe that there’s a force of nature that comes into play when we least expect it ( most need it). And yes, I believe there is a coherence to the way our lives unfold that is highly intelligent. But I also believe – deeply – that we were given free will and the power to make choices for a single reason: to exercise then. I believe that we generally get from life what we give to life. I believe that good things happened to those willing to put in the effort, exercise discipline and make the sacrifices that personal and professional greatness requires – no, demands. I’ve also found that actions have consequences and the more good things I do – through good old hard work – the more success I see. Life favors the devoted.

 

Not one of the uber-successful people I’ve worked with as a leadership coach got there without outworking everyone around them. While others were home watching TV or sleeping, these great ones – who have made their mark on the world and have added tremendous value to it – were up early, putting in the hours, showing life that they were dedicated to their dream. In addition, they are also able maintain a reasonable amount of work life balance, more importantly spending quality time with their loved ones or for their inner self. Behind these extra-ordinary achievements you will always discover extra-ordinary efforts. Just a law of nature. Hasn’t changed for thousands of years.

 

Ivan Seindenberg, the chairman and CEO of Verizon, tells the following story: “My first boss – he was the building superintendent and I was a janitor – watched me sweep floors and wash walls for almost a year before he mentioned I could get tuition for college if I got a job with the phone company. When I asked him why he waited for so long, he said: “ I wanted to see if you were worth it”

 

And Time Warner CEO Dick Parsons once observed that the best advice he ever got was from his grandmother. She told him: “whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” So plant your seeds. Be spectacularly greatly at what you do. Wear your passion on your sleeve and hold your heart in the palm of your hand. And work hard. Really hard. Hard work opens doors and shows the world that you are serious about being one of those rare – and special – human beings that uses the fullness of their talents for the highest and the very best.

 

“Be spectacularly greatly at what you do”

 

Grace under pressure

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

 

Dr Martin Lunther King Jr. once said in a speech: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” So true. What we are as human beings presents itself more fully in times of adversity than at times of ease. Any one can be positive, polite and kind when things are going well. What distinguishes people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they respond when life sends one of its inevitable curves. They don’t crumble or surrender. They reach deeply into themselves and present even more of their highest nature to the world.

 

Just a couple of hours ago, I was on the runway, ready to fly from London. The flight had been delayed by a few hours so it felt good to be so close to takeoff. I had my MP3 in place, a new book to read and my journal. Then, the Pilot’s voice came over the public address system: “ the ground crew found a technical problem and we regret to inform that we must cancel this flight”. The reactions that statement provoked were fascinating.

 

One man close to me became belligerent to a flight attendant. A couple in another row grumbled loudly. A business man in a dark suit liked the seat in front of him. Yet some passengers responded differently, with a quiet humanity. An elderly gentleman smiled as he helped others take their bags down from the overhead compartments. A teenager, rather than trying to rush off the plane like most of the other passengers, stopped to help a woman with a disability. The lady sitting next to me laughed and said, “hey, it’s not the end of the world,” before calling her kids and sharing her adventure. The wisent among us have a remarkable ability to maintain grounded when times get tough.

 

No life is perfect; mine certainly isn’t. We all must face challenges, both large and small. This very minute, there are human beings dealing with illness in a hospital bed. Sickness, loss disappointment. No one gets through life without experiencing this stuff. But you & I have the power to choose to rise above our external circumstances. We always have a choice to be strong and positive when things fall apart. We have the right to use our stumbling blocks as stepping stones to our greatest life.

 

Grace under pressure. That’s what separates leaders from followers. It’s that beautiful quality that inspires others and reflects a well-developed spirit.

 

“What distinguish people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they respond when life sends one of its inevitable curves”

 

Leadership isn't a popularity contest

LEADERSHIP ISN’T A POPULARITY CONTEST

 

Being a leader (and in my mind, every single one of us has an obligation to show leadership daily – regardless of title or position) isn’t about being liked. It’s about doing what’s right. So many leaders are afraid of conflict – they have a deep-seated need to be popular and cherished. They hate ruffling feathers and making waves. They are insecure and not so comfortable living in their own skin. But great leaders are different. They fearlessly make tough calls. They speak their truth. They run their own race, making the right decisions and worrying little about public opinion. They are courage in action.

 

I speak and write a lot about being caring and respectful of people. Treat your people well and they’ll treat your customers well. That’s a no-brainer. Help people get to their goals and they’ll happily help you get to yours. I will take that value to my grave. See the best in people and be the most compassionate person you know. But being kind doesn’t mean being weak. Being a good human doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be strong and courageous when required by the circumstances. Extraordinary leadership is a balance between being tender yet tough, compassionate yet courageous, part saint and part warrior, friendly yet firm.

 

All that best leaders really care about is being fair, doing what’s right and getting results. And that brings me to my gentle suggestion to you: Do the right thing rather than doing the popular thing. The best thing to do is generally the hardest thing to do. Please remember that. Make the tough decisions. Speak with candor. Let underperformers know when they are underperforming. Tell your superstars how much you love them. Just be real.

 

When you lead from a position of truth, justice, fairness and excellence, you’ll have your critics. Who cares? I’ve never seen a critic show up at a deathbed. My friend Dan Sheehand, who runs a great called WinPlus out of Los Angeles that we’ve done leadership development work with, once shared this with me: “Great people build monuments from the stones that critics throw at them,” Nice point. If I had listened to all my critics, I’d still be an unhappy lawyer locked to a desk. Thank God I didn’t.

 

“Being a leader isn’t about being liked. It’s about doing what’s right”

 

Learn to say No

LEARN TO SAY NO

 

Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important. “Yes men” and “yes women” never create anything great. There’s huge value in getting good at saying no.

 

Say no to the friend who wants to meet over coffee to gossip. Say no to the co-worker who wants to spread his negativity and cynicism. Say no to the relative who laughs at your dreams and makes you doubt yourself. Say no to the social obligations that drain time from your life’s work.

 

You can’t be all things to all people. The best among us get that. Know your priorities. Know your goals. Know what needs to get done over the coming weeks, months and years for you to feel that you played your best game as a human being. And then say no to everyone else. Sure some people around you might not be happy. But would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams?

 

“Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important”