Grace under pressure

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

 

Dr Martin Lunther King Jr. once said in a speech: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” So true. What we are as human beings presents itself more fully in times of adversity than at times of ease. Any one can be positive, polite and kind when things are going well. What distinguishes people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they respond when life sends one of its inevitable curves. They don’t crumble or surrender. They reach deeply into themselves and present even more of their highest nature to the world.

 

Just a couple of hours ago, I was on the runway, ready to fly from London. The flight had been delayed by a few hours so it felt good to be so close to takeoff. I had my MP3 in place, a new book to read and my journal. Then, the Pilot’s voice came over the public address system: “ the ground crew found a technical problem and we regret to inform that we must cancel this flight”. The reactions that statement provoked were fascinating.

 

One man close to me became belligerent to a flight attendant. A couple in another row grumbled loudly. A business man in a dark suit liked the seat in front of him. Yet some passengers responded differently, with a quiet humanity. An elderly gentleman smiled as he helped others take their bags down from the overhead compartments. A teenager, rather than trying to rush off the plane like most of the other passengers, stopped to help a woman with a disability. The lady sitting next to me laughed and said, “hey, it’s not the end of the world,” before calling her kids and sharing her adventure. The wisent among us have a remarkable ability to maintain grounded when times get tough.

 

No life is perfect; mine certainly isn’t. We all must face challenges, both large and small. This very minute, there are human beings dealing with illness in a hospital bed. Sickness, loss disappointment. No one gets through life without experiencing this stuff. But you & I have the power to choose to rise above our external circumstances. We always have a choice to be strong and positive when things fall apart. We have the right to use our stumbling blocks as stepping stones to our greatest life.

 

Grace under pressure. That’s what separates leaders from followers. It’s that beautiful quality that inspires others and reflects a well-developed spirit.

 

“What distinguish people with an extraordinary character from the rest of us is how they respond when life sends one of its inevitable curves”

 

Leadership isn't a popularity contest

LEADERSHIP ISN’T A POPULARITY CONTEST

 

Being a leader (and in my mind, every single one of us has an obligation to show leadership daily – regardless of title or position) isn’t about being liked. It’s about doing what’s right. So many leaders are afraid of conflict – they have a deep-seated need to be popular and cherished. They hate ruffling feathers and making waves. They are insecure and not so comfortable living in their own skin. But great leaders are different. They fearlessly make tough calls. They speak their truth. They run their own race, making the right decisions and worrying little about public opinion. They are courage in action.

 

I speak and write a lot about being caring and respectful of people. Treat your people well and they’ll treat your customers well. That’s a no-brainer. Help people get to their goals and they’ll happily help you get to yours. I will take that value to my grave. See the best in people and be the most compassionate person you know. But being kind doesn’t mean being weak. Being a good human doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be strong and courageous when required by the circumstances. Extraordinary leadership is a balance between being tender yet tough, compassionate yet courageous, part saint and part warrior, friendly yet firm.

 

All that best leaders really care about is being fair, doing what’s right and getting results. And that brings me to my gentle suggestion to you: Do the right thing rather than doing the popular thing. The best thing to do is generally the hardest thing to do. Please remember that. Make the tough decisions. Speak with candor. Let underperformers know when they are underperforming. Tell your superstars how much you love them. Just be real.

 

When you lead from a position of truth, justice, fairness and excellence, you’ll have your critics. Who cares? I’ve never seen a critic show up at a deathbed. My friend Dan Sheehand, who runs a great called WinPlus out of Los Angeles that we’ve done leadership development work with, once shared this with me: “Great people build monuments from the stones that critics throw at them,” Nice point. If I had listened to all my critics, I’d still be an unhappy lawyer locked to a desk. Thank God I didn’t.

 

“Being a leader isn’t about being liked. It’s about doing what’s right”

 

Learn to say No

LEARN TO SAY NO

 

Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important. “Yes men” and “yes women” never create anything great. There’s huge value in getting good at saying no.

 

Say no to the friend who wants to meet over coffee to gossip. Say no to the co-worker who wants to spread his negativity and cynicism. Say no to the relative who laughs at your dreams and makes you doubt yourself. Say no to the social obligations that drain time from your life’s work.

 

You can’t be all things to all people. The best among us get that. Know your priorities. Know your goals. Know what needs to get done over the coming weeks, months and years for you to feel that you played your best game as a human being. And then say no to everyone else. Sure some people around you might not be happy. But would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams?

 

“Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important”

 

KNOW YOUR GENIUS

KNOW YOUR GENIUS

 

Genius is not the sole domain of a rare breed of person. Both you & I are entitled to that label and to play in that space – if we so choose. Here’s the big idea: Focus on any area or skill will a relentless devotion to daily improvement and a passion for excellence and within three to five years, you will be operating at a level of competence (and insight) such that people call you a genius. Focus plus daily improvement plus time equals genius. Understand that formula deeply and your life will never be the same.

 

Michael Jordan was a basketball genius. Was his spectacular success on the court purely the result of natural gifts? Absolutely not. He took what nature gave him and ran the formula: Focus plus daily improvement plus time equals genius. He didn’t try to be good at five different sports. He didn’t scatter his focus. He just got devoted to being brilliant at basketball. And he was.

 

Thomas Edison registered a stunning 1093 patents over his life time and invented the light bulb as well as the phonograph. (A school teacher labeled him a slow learner when he was a kid; he didn’t listen. Kudos). He didn’t try to be a great merchant and a great poet and a great musician. He focused on his inventions. He improved daily. And he let time work its magic. Genius came knocking.

 

Makes me think of a story of Pablo Picasso. One day a woman spotted him in the market and pulled out a piece of paper. “Mr. Picassos,” she said excitedly,  “I’m a big fan. Please, could you do a little drawing for me?” Picasso happily complied and quickly etched out a piece of art for her on the paper provided. He smiled as he handed it back to her, and said, “that will be a million dollars.” “But Mr. Picassos,” the flustered woman replied, “it only took you 30 seconds to do this little master piece.” “My good woman,” Picasso laughed, “it took me 30 years to do that master piece in 30 seconds.”

 

Know what you can excel at – your genius. Discover your talents and then work like crazy to polish them. One of the most important of all personal leadership skills is self-awareness. Know what you are really great at. Reflect on those abilities that others admire in you. Think about those capabilities that just come easily to you – and that flow effortlessly from you. You might be a fantastic communicator or have a way with people. You might possess an extraordinary ability to execute and get things done. Perhaps your special talent lies in innovation and creativity and seeing what everyone else sees but thinking a different thought. Find your genius points and then develop them. Focus plus daily improvement plus time. Start today and in three to five years people will be writing about you. Calling you a genius. Celebrating your magnificence. And don’t worry – I’ll be one of them.

 

“Focus plus daily improvement plus time equals genius. Understand that formula deeply and your life will never be the same”

 

LIFE LESSONS FROM SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

LIFE LESSONS FROM SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

 

SpongeBob SquarePants is my hero. The kids and I were having breakfast this morning when Bianca, my nine-year old daughter brought up the subject of this crazy little cartoon charter. “Daddy, is SpongeBob a real person?”. Made me laugh. Then it made me think. If SpongeBob were a human being, this world would be a better place.  Seriously. Here are four lessons SpongeBob can teach us to get more joy from life:

 

Be the eternal optimist: The guy (or sponge, I should say) always sees the best in any situation. Your thinking really does shape your reality. And because SpongeBob looks for the best, he finds it.

Value people: SpongeBob knows what friendship means. He loves his pals in Bikini Bottom, even Squidword “who is always cranky”, to borrow my sons words. SpongeBob knows that respect and putting people first are two of the most important elements for strong relationships.

Be an original: SpongeBob is one of a kind. Too many among us are afraid to be ourselves. So we give up our dreams to follow the crowd. Tragic. “To thine own self be true,” wrote Shakespeare. Have the courage to be your true – and greatest – you. (Warren Buffett, once said, “there can’t be two of you.”)

Laugh and have fun: There’s no point in being successful but sad. Makes no sense. Yes, reach for the mountaintop. But enjoy the climb as well. Life wasn’t meant to be an ordeal. It was meant to be a celebration. So have big-time fun as you chase – and catch – your most cherished dreams.

 

“Too many among us are afraid to be ourselves. So we give up our dreams to follow the crowd”

 

Leadership begins on the Extra Mile

LEADERSHIP BEGINS ON THE EXTRA MILE

 

I had just dropped off my children at school and was driving to the office when I got an insight that made me pull over. So here I sit, off to the side of the road with my hazard blinkers on, hammering this out on my phone because I wanted to share it with you. The big idea: Leadership – and success – begins on the extra mile.

 

Leadership is shown when a sales person makes extra calls at the end of an exhausting day – not because it’s the easy thing to do but because it’s the right thing to do. Leadership is shown by the manager who finishes a report that has taken the very best from him, then goes back to it a little later to polish and improve it even more. Leadership is shown by a team that delivers on their value promise to a customer and then digs even deeper to wow them. And leadership is shown by the human being who fights the urge to stay under the covers on a cold day and throws on her running shoes to pound the pavement. Not because running miles on a frosty morning is fun. But because it’s wise.

 

Please think about this idea. I think it’s a deeply important one. Those among us who craft extraordinary careers and spectacular lives are those who spend most of their time giving their best out on the extra mile. Yes, ordinary people don’t spend much time on the extra mile. But who ever said you were ordinary?

 

“Ordinary people don’t spend much time on the extra mile. But who ever said you were ordinary?”

 

MAKE TIME TO THINK

 

MAKE TIME TO THINK

 

I am blessed to be able to meet interesting people from all walks of like regularly because of the work I do. I meet film makers, poets, brilliant college students, wise teachers and visionary entrepreneurs. Each one of these encounters has taught me something and shaped my perspective. I had dinner recently with one of Asia’s top CEOs. Asked him the secret of his outrageous success. He smiled: “I make the time to think”. Every morning, he spend at least 45 minutes with his eyes closed, deep in reflection. He’s not meditating. He’s not praying. He’s thinking.

 

Sometimes he’s analyzing business challenges. Other times he’s thinking about new markets. Still other times he’s being introspective on the meaning of life and what he wants it to stand for. Often, he’s simply dreaming up new ways to grow personally and professionally. Every once in a while, he’ll spend between six and eight hours doing this. Sitting silently. Still. With his eyes closed. Thinking.

 

Making the time to think is a superb strategy for success at leadership and in life. Too many people spend the best hours of their days solely engaged in doing, on the execution aspect of things. Recently a client said to me: “Robin, sometimes I get so busy that I don’t even know what I’m so busy doing.” But what if he’s busy with the wrong things” Few things are disappointing as investing all your time, energy and potential climbing a mountain only to find – once at the top – that you climbed the wrong one. Thinking and reflection ensures that you’re on the right mountain. Peter Drucker, said is to well: “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that should not be done at all”

 

Being thoughtful and strategic is step number one as you walk to greatness. Clarity precedes success. By thinking more, you will have a better sense of your priorities and what you need to focus on. Your actions will be more crisp and deliberate and intentional. You will make better decisions and wiser choices. More time thinking will make you less reactive. You’ll become clearer on the best uses of your time (which will, in turn, save you time). And your “think time” will provoke some amazing ideas and inspire some big dreams. Lewis Carroll addressed this point beautifully in Alice in Wonderland when he wrote: “There’s no use in trying” said Alice. “One can’t believe impossible things”. “I daresay you haven’t had much practice” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”.

 

“Peter Drucker, said it so well: “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that should not be done at all”