Bon Jovi and the power of focus

Bon Jovi and the Power of Focus

I always admired Bon Jovi for his passion and his music. This morning I heard a song of his in which he sings: “when the world gets in my face, I say have a nice day”. Got me thinking about Bon Jovi, his long career and why he’s still going strong after so many years.

There’s a great power in focusing on what you want, Seems like such an obvious statement, yet most of us miss it. Dreams can come true. You can get to a place called Extraordinary in your career. You can find love deeper than you’ve had ever imagined. You can realize world-class vitality and find lasting fulfillment. But you need to focus. The person who tries to do everything accomplishes nothing. Most people try to be all things to everyone. And so they end up nothing to anyone. Confucius nailed the point: “ Person who chases two rabbits catches neither”.

What you focus on grows. Think about that line. Focus. Focus. Focus. That’s what the best of the best do. Tunnel vision around their biggest To Do’s. They stick to their knitting rather than scattering their brilliance. A few months ago I had dinner with a billionaire client of mine. I asked him what was the single best thing he did to get to his financial mastery. “I made this goal my sole reference point”, came the instant reply.

Back to Bon Jovi. From what I can tell, he’s still around and doing great because he had an idea about what his music would be and where he could take it, and then he stayed focused on that mission. I’ve heard he’s faced some tough times (join the club). But he didn’t give up. He didn’t play victim. He remained stronger and on course. He stayed true to his fans and himself.

“The person who tries to do everything accomplishes nothing”

 

Stainless Character

A STAINLESS CHARACTER

 

Stainless steel – a tremendous invention. But what about a stainless character? One that is noble, aspires for mastery and never gives in moving closer to its ideals. What is within must always appear without. What I mean by that is that the quality of your inner world eventually is reflected in the quality of your outer world. Your external life can never grow bigger than your internal one. Life is really is a mirror – reflecting who we are, rather than all we want.

A person who dreams pristine dreams and who is impeccably honest, good, ethical and stands for what’s best will soon act in alignment with those values. And those actions cannot help but drive extraordinary results. Inner always creates outer. Always.

Last night I saw Spiderman 3 with Bianca. Best line in the movie was the most obvious one: “we always have a choice. We can always choose between right and wrong.” This leadership/success/greatness stuff really is pretty simple. Simple – but not easy (and excellent is all about doing what’s right versus what’s easy). The best things in life do take effort and commitment and discipline. (My friend Nido Qubein once said, “the price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret.”) And sure, it all seems so obvious. But what’s most obvious is what’s most often forgotten.

“We always have a choice. We can always choose between right and wrong”

 

 

Own Your Greatness

OWN YOUR GREATNESS

 

Today morning I read a letter scribbled in pencil from an inmate in an American prison. He talked about how he gradually remembered that he was born to make a difference and realize his potential. He’d forgotten who he was meant to be. Because life had hurt him. A lot.

I hear this all the time. People appreciate being reminded that they are meant to play at great. That there are no extra people on the planet. That every life has a purpose. We knew these truths as kids. So we dreamed. We reached. We acted fearlessly. Lived life passionately. And stood in possibility. But we lost that wisdom – as we grew up and walked further out into world, away from our Real Nature.

Maybe self-improvement is a waste of time. Maybe self-remembering (and reconnecting to the brilliance/creativity/authenticity/greatness you once knew) is where the action is. That life has a habit of making us forget. We fall into routine. We take things for granted. We stop taking risks. We stop aiming for the mountaintop. We stop speaking truth. We play small with the gift of our lives. But we deserve better than mediocrity. Ordinary people can do remarkable things. By recalling who they truly are. And living at their best.

“People appreciate being reminded that they are meant to play at great. That there are no extra people on the planet. That every life has a purpose”

 

Speak your Truth

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH

 

This past weekend the kids and I returned to Halifax, Nova Scotia to celebrate friend’s fortieth wedding anniversary. I saw a car drive by with a bumper sticker that I’ll never forget. It said, “SPEAK YOUR TRUTH – EVEN WHEN YOUR VOICE SHAKES” Brilliant!

Too many people talk the good talk these days. Tons of empty promises. And hype. And lofty statements that never amount to anything. True leaders are different. They talk less and do more. I love the quiet leaders. Those silent souls who under promise and over-deliver. And when they do speak, they speak Truth. The Merchants of Wow among us understand that a person’s word is their bond. And that every promise kept builds credibility, the foundation of trust. So make the commitment to be impeccable with your word.

We really can be a leader, no matter that our titles are. In the theater they say, “no role is a small role”. And in life, no person is an insignificant one. (‘Every calling is great when greatly pursued.” Observed Oliver Wendel Holmes). Each day, at work and at home, you have an opportunity to create an impact, to make a difference and to reveal your potential. And one of the things that separates leaders from followers is that those who lead speak openly, honestly and courageously. Even when the very thought of doing so frightens them. Even when their voices shake.

“One of the things that separates leaders from followers is that those who lead speak openly, honestly and courageously”

Worry vs Reflection

WORRY vs REFLECTION

 

So many thought leaders counsel us to avoid living in the past. “Living in the now”, they advise. “Enjoy the moment”. “The past is a grave”. Well, I get what they are saying. But isn’t there something good about going back and delighting in the delicious moments of the journey so far? And in the learnings from all we’ve experience?

Which brings me to worry vs reflection. Whether you should revisit the past, to my mind, depends on your intention. If your intention is and reason for going back into your past is to dwell on bad experiences and to worry over things you cannot change and rehash painful times, then I suggest it’s an unhealthy act (a complete waste of time, actually; just keeps you stuck). But, if your intention is to reflect on the lessons that events have taught you and to grow in wisdom and to savor the precious memories that you were blessed enough to experience, well, then I think that’s a good thing. Because you are letting your past serve you. And make you better.

I guess what I’m inviting you to consider is that it’s a waste of time to fret over and regret things you’ve done that cannot be changed. But it’s an intelligent use of time to bask in the good times, feel gratitude for them and use even the challenging times of your personal history to leverage your future success.

“But isn’t there something good about going back and delighting in the delicious moments of the journey so far? And in learning from all we’ve experienced?”

 

SELL YOUR DESK

SELL YOUR DESK

 

The best performers in business don’t hide behind their desks. They know that business is all about connecting to people. When people like you and know you and trust you, they will help you. Just the way it is. Human nature at play.

The best managers get out from behind their desks and have rich and meaningful conversations with their team. They get that passion is contagious and, before someone will lend you their hand, you need to touch their heart. The best salespeople get out from behind their desks and break bread with their customers. They understand the power of relationship-selling. The best employees get out from behind their desks to collaborate with their teammates, support their colleagues and to spread their enthusiasm.

I need to be out serving my beloved clients and helping them build world-class organizations. I need to be out learning new ideas and interesting insights that will find their way onto my blog or my podcasts or into my next speech or book. Hiding behind my desk is the worst place I could be of.

“The best performers in business don’t hide behind their desks. They know that business is all about connecting to people.”

 

Learning or decaying

LEARNING OR DECAYING

 

There is a cure for aging that no one talks about. It’s called learning. In my mind, as long as you learn something new each day, stretch your personal frontiers and improve the way you think, you cannot grow old. Aging only happens to people who lose their lust for getting better and disconnect from their natural base of curiosity. “Every three or four years I pick a new subject. It may be Japanese art; it may be economics. Three years of study are by no means enough to master a subject but they are enough to understand it. So for more than 60 years I have kept studying one subject at a time,” said Peter Drucker, father of modern management who lived until he was 95. Brilliant guy.

 

Last year, I had the joy of spending a couple of hours in conversation with Shimon Peres, the former Israeli Prime minster and Nobel Peace Prize winner. He was nearly 82 at the time, and I couldn’t help but notice that his eyes actually sparkled as he spoke of his love of books, big ideas and learning. I asked: “Mr Peres, when do you read?” His reply: “Robin, when don’t I read? I read when I get up in the morning, when I can during the day and every single evening. Most of my weekends are spent reading great books. Books are my constant companions.” He then added with a smile: “If you eat three times a day you’ll be fed. But if you read three times a day you’ll be wise”.

 

Too many people never pick up a book after they’ve finished school. Unbelievable. Too many people spend more time watching TV then getting deep inside the minds of the greatest people who have walked the planet. Too many people have closed their minds to new insights and powerful thoughts. One idea read/discovered in one book could transform the way you see the world.

“There’s a cure for aging that no one talks about. It’s called learning.”